Confession

Confession: I couldn't think of a good way to go about writing this "all important" first post, so I googled "blog post ideas". Sadly, this is not the first time I have sheepishly googled something mildly embarrassing/incriminating. "How to get rid of adult onset acne" and "Bone Thugz-Resurrection lyrics" have also been known to pop up in my recent searches.

Unfortunately, nothing promising came up, as I'm fairly sure nobody cares to read a thorough description of my favorite animal or my thoughts on current issues in my industry (whatever that means.) Once again, this isn't the first time a google search has failed me. My complexion is still mediocre at best and my rap skills are far worse, I'm afraid. "White-girl-from-Utah" is still about my level of street cred.

Instead I will just explain my reasoning behind starting this blog. This is my third and final attempt to gain passage into the blogging world(or "blogosphere" as all 'yall like to call it) hence, the blog's title. Due to lack of interest/laziness on my part, the first two never made it past a crappy introductory post, one sympathy reader comment, and about 7 hits. Most of which were probably visits by me.

1. "If you don't exist online, you don't exist at all". This quote was taken off a handout from a marketing class I took, in regards to increasing awareness of your business. I was curious as to my own level of existance, so I googled my name. The results were horrifying. First came up an old facebook profile picture which seemed to be taken during the summer that I had a styling-damage induced mullet and fetish for sparkle eyeliner. The second was an obituary honoring the life of "Carolyn Rae Gassman", a Methodist who enjoyed bridge, gardening, golf, and was an ardent fan of U of U athletics. Also included in the hits were my phone number listing, the Oak Canyon Jr. High honor roll, and an embarrassing high school interview published in the Deseret News during a brief moment of stardom. "Old people are people too" is just one of my many wisdom filled quotes from that interview. I figure that a current blog is a way to at least control ONE of the hits that may come up when my name is googled. Because, you know, my name is probably googled a lot... oh wait...

2. I have a desk job. Due to my recent college graduation, I have officially joined the ranks of full-time employed adults. This is a first for me, as my college job as a restaurant server consisted of 3-4 hour shifts spent scavenging scraps of food off customers' plates and learning dirty Spanish words, all while hanging out with my best friends who conveniently also worked there. A little different from my job now. It's a good different though; I needed a change. And I will admit, I like the idea of having my own business cards, company email address, and a job description that includes the words "wearing lots of hats" and "room for growth". But there is a lot of down time. And let's be honest, there is only so much facebook stalking you can do before you start to feel a little creepy. Plus, I am convinced it's only a matter of time before they come up with some sort of application that tracks everyone who lurks on your profile. When that day comes, we are all toast. I figure I spend at least a little time thinking actual thoughts each day; I might as well write some of them down.

3. My skirt is literally being held together with staples. I'm serious. The side slit somehow ripped this morning during the commute. Should I be upset about this? Probably. But instead of blaming it on my lack of gym dilligence, I am just telling myself it is because I dried it in the dryer, which all girls know can shrink clothes like crazy. Plus, I got the thing from the Banana Republic OUTLET'S SIDEWALK SALE CLEARANCE RACK. The thing is about as thick as a kleenex. Thats what I get for buying my "business casual" clothes at such an extremely deep discount. Anyway, rather than expose 3/4 of my thigh to the entire office, I opted to take the creative route and regain my modesty by using the stapler. This seems to have done the trick, although I can't really move my legs more than about an inch apart. I busted two staple "stitches" during my last attempt to shuffle over to the fax machine and am in no hurry to move my body (especially legs) anytime soon. Blogging requires absolutely no physical exhertion whatsoever. Therefore, I can't think of a better way to kill 30 minutes of company time.

The real test will be to see if I actually write another post. So far, my past blogging record testifies against me. I plan on proving it wrong. But, if the third time isn't a charm, maybe the fourth will be.