Hip Hop Critic: My Calling in Life?

Today I met an aspiring Hip-Hop artist in the Wal Mart Parking lot. This is nothing out of the ordinary. I have a feeling that the West Phoenix "Mercado de Walmart" is host to much of Hip-Hop's aspiring talent. However, this morning as I was unloading my grocery bags into the car, a tricked out jeep pulled up into the parking slot next to me, unashamedly blasting something I can only assume would be played in a Miami night club. The bass was pumped up so high I'm pretty sure the pavement was shaking a little bit. Now, maybe this is just me, but whenever a car's windows are rolled up, I don't feel the need to acknowledge the person inside. It's almost like the person and car are one anonymous being you can ignore. But this car's windows were rolled down, making it a whole different story. I felt compelled to glance up and smile at the driver. It would have been awkward not to- unless I were completely deaf, it was obvious that I knew he was there. He got really excited and flashed a gap toothed (but very white) smile back at me.

Then he beckoned me over to the jeep. What did I do? Scampered right over, of course. Who am I to disobey someone who's music choice featured the lyrics "imma blow dis club up o'er 'errbody" or something like that.

He introduced himself as "Jus' Arion", one of the valley's rising Hip-Hop stars. He asked if I liked Hip Hop and I responded with "as much, if not more, as any white girl around here..."

He laughed and asked me to listen to his new song and give some honest feedback. "Okay..", I agreed. "But I mean, I don't know how much help I'll be. I don't really have high standards when it comes to music..."

He laughed and began playing (well, blasting- his speakers only seemed to have one volume- very loud) his new (future) hit single. As it played, I wasn't quite sure what to do. Should I sort of bob my head in time to the beat? Should I sort of close my eyes, sway my head and throw up gang signs? Attempt to crip walk? I settled with the first option, and subtly nodded my head with a serious look on my face, trying to look as "hood" possible, despite the fact that I was wearing Yellowstone sweats and holding a bag of Goldfish Crackers.

When it was done, he asked me for my honest opinion.


I told him I really liked it. (Actually, I really did.) I told him that if the song were to come on the radio, I definitely wouldn't change it. Then he asked me if there were any parts I didn't like. I told him to maybe take out the part where he rhymes "pubix" with "rubix". I don't even know what a "pubix" is, but it doesn't sound nice. He laughed and told me he was thinking the same thing.

Soooo... if by some chance "Jus Arion" somehow rises to the top of Hip-Hop fame, I will be able to say that I met him in the West Phoenix Wal Mart Parking lot and provided him some constructive criticism. Let's just hope he takes my advice to heart, because if I'm listening to the radio someday and hear the word "pubix", I'm gonna be really upset.