Monday, February 11, 2013

An Insomnia Induced Facelift

I have attempted to "re-vamp" the blog.

The key word here is "attempted". As it turns out, there is a really complicated process behind getting blogs look nice. Kudos to all you bloggers with clever fonts and custom layouts; all that copying/pasting of codes made my head spin so much I somehow ended up stress-eating an entire Totinos Party Pizza by myself. 800 calories later, I'm still rocking Blogger's default template and fonts that were probably available with Windows 95.

Ever since the Instagram era began (or rather, ever since I tardily jumped on the bandwagon when I realized that Instagram wasn't just a picture editing app), I've slacked big time on this little blog. For me it is an oddly daunting task to (gasp) plug in the camera (bigger gasp,) transfer the pictures (even bigger gasp,) attempt to tidy them up in Picassa, and (biggest gasp of all- your lungs should be full) upload them to my blog. The much more appealing alternative is a quick Instagram post. I can get my social media on in a quick 20 seconds, 50 characters, and a couple of "clever" #hashtags.

I have realized though that I do like to write occasionally, and I figured that maybe a little online "makeover" might give me the motivation I need to start this up again. I've been battling mommy insomnia for weeks and I figure writing might be a better alternative to the way I have been passing time lately. Which is watching Netflix documentaries about the Loch Ness Monster and Bigfoot. FYI- I am sold on both. Total believer, right here.

Speaking of insomnia, the painfully cheesy title of this blog can be blamed on last night's bout of sleeplessness. Have you ever spent the late hours of the night thinking up something really brilliant, playing out all the details in your head, growing increasingly proud of this stroke of genius that has hit you? Only to wake up in the morning mortified that you actually thought it was a good idea and relieved that you didn't act on it? (Unless you which case, we've all been there, right?)

Well, last night while lying in bed around 3 am, my mind somehow wandered toward my blog and I began brainstorming (did I really use that word? I apologize; this is not 8th grade English) ideas for its much needed facelift. Then it hit me. The new blog title. "Behind the Scenes: The Raw, Uncut Footage We Call Life." Or no! Maybe "Deleted Scenes: What You Don't Catch on the Highlight Reel". I also played around with "The Lowlight Reel" and "The Sargent Show". I was giddy with excitement. This whole "movie/film" theme was brilliant, right? How clever and catchy! I finally drifted off to a delightful sleep, these brilliant thoughts marinating in my head.

Then I woke up.

"The what?" sputtered Brock between gasps of laughter, "Deleted Scenes?"
"I know, right?" I replied with tears of laughter in my eyes, "How ridiculous. That's what happens when sleep deprivation renders you practically intoxicated."

When the absurdity of last night's thoughts dawned on me, I had immediately relayed them to Brock. We laughed for a few more minutes. I was relieved that I hadn't made any of these changes during the night. What stupid ideas! What are we, film people? Movie buffs? (Again, I apologize for using that term. What am I, a 75 year old man?)

But somehow throughout the day, I couldn't seem to shake the idea of giving the blog a facelift. And every time I tried to come up with a new name, all I could seem to think of were titles involving the words "scene" and "highlights". And all I could picture was a clever little graphic involving a film spool. It was too late- the movie theme had seared itself into my brain in a bad way; I knew it wasn't going to leave. Apparently the thoughts we think during that late night state of mind are very powerful. Even more reason for me not to watch anymore conspiracy theory shows at 2 am. Or else my next post might be an essay on America's faking of the moon landing.

So here we are. I've got a new cheesy title and crappy "pixely" picture to accompany it. (Seriously. It was created in "Paint".) Anybody with a hint of pride would probably abandon the project all together, but my husband is at school until 11 tonight, Jack is asleep and I am waiting on my turn in "Words with Friends". Basically I have no life, so this post is getting published as a last ditch effort to entertain myself. It's a work in progress. I have plans to make it better, I promise. But for now, I am starving and there is another Totinos in the freezer calling my name. My body will probably hate me tomorrow. If so, I've got a sort-of new blog to complain about it on. You lucky reader. :)


  1. I love you. I really do. Your witty sense of humor kills me. Please write more. All the time, actually. K, thanks! :)

  2. Oh man. I have never, in the 5 year history of my blog, changed my template (I've updated the header, but never the actual template). I'm too scared. Ever since Blogger updated two-ish years ago, they don't even offer the template I have anymore. So now I'm too scared to change ANYTHING because what if my old template goes away?? Real life problems!
    I love your new set up! And your clever title (another thing I r e a l l y need to change!), and your header. I'm crossing my fingers that you really do post more! Please, please.

  3. I am loving the new look! And I am even more excited to hear the "uncut" version of your life! Sounds juicy and well, similar to mine. I would never get rid of my nightly conspiracy shows.

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  5. Love your writing and the humor. Can't tell you how many times I said, "I know, right?". A couple of times out loud...and at least one in a valley girl accent. I might need to seek help. But keep up the blogging, I'll need something to read at the institution.

  6. haha oh Carr, while reading my mind kept having flashbacks...or should I call them highlights? of Creative Writing class and Film Lit with Mr. Saxton! Just a month ago I was eagerly helping Brax with his screenplay and volunteering to draw some horribly awful pics to accompany the high school drama he'd written...ah, drama and theatrics at it's finest. I personally love the facelift!... cheers to you mr. saxton and...what was that other guys name?